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Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book Page 9


  Who am I?

  It’s my job to ask the puzzling questions, and it’s the contestant’s job to pick the right answers and win the million dollars. Sometimes, the contestant chooses to phone a friend.

  Who am I?

  Shelby has a box of 32 crayons. All of her friends have boxes of 8 crayons. If she shares her crayons so that she and all 5 of her friends have an equal number of colors, how many crayons will she give to each of her friends?

  Ian likes math class. One day the teacher asks him if he can think of any way that 1 + 1 could equal 1. Ian was stumped. But in a few minutes, he could think of several ways. Can you think of any?

  A Sloppy Subject

  Color in each letter below that appears four times. Collect the uncolored letters from left to right and top to bottom, and write them in the spaces. When you’re finished, you’ll have the answer to this riddle:

  What did one test say to the other?

  My life is an open book.

  Why did the capital letters have to stay away from the lowercase letters?

  They couldn’t see “I” to “i” (eye to eye).

  How did the playground win the ball game?

  The swing swung and the slide slid into home!

  What does the alphabet do at the end of the day?

  Catch a few more ZZZZZ’s.

  How did the tooth fairy do in school?

  Fairy well.

  Why did the fish have to leave school?

  He was feeling “eel.”

  For Robbie’s class party, the students played musical chairs. Each time the music stopped, Robbie moved over 3 chairs. There were 27 chairs in the circle. How many times did the music stop before Robbie was back in his own seat?

  Fun fact

  We’re Brainiacs

  Our brains are made up of billions of cells. And although our brains are a larger part of our bodies compared to most other animals, size has little to do with intelligence. Studies have proven that someone with a small brain can actually be smarter than someone with a larger brain.

  The monkey bars at Bobby’s school have 11 bars. If Bobby starts with his right hand on the very first bar, and he skips every other bar as he swings across, while he is changing hands with every other swing, which of his hands will end up on bar 11? Which one will end up on bar 5?

  His left hand will be on bar 11, and his right on bar 5

  Each year Mrs. Jones’s students bring her apples for the first day of class. Mrs. Jones likes to take the apples home and make pies out of them. If everyone in her class of 21 brings her an apple and it takes 7 apples to make a pie, how many pies can she make?

  What’s the difference between 124 and 12?

  When Bill added 5 and 5 together, his answer was an X. How can that be?

  Who am I?

  I was one of the first doctors who started to understand the role of the brain in thinking. The Hippocratic Oath was named after me.

  Who am I?

  The most exciting day at Greenfield School was the day that the magician came. Everyone could hardly wait for the amazing “pulling the rabbit out of the hat” trick. At the beginning of the show, Merlin the Mystifying placed the rabbit in the hat. At the end of the show, even Merlin was amazed. Not only did he pull 1 rabbit out of his hat—he pulled out 6 more! How could that be?

  Did the math teacher know he would win the annual math contest?

  He was counting on it.

  Why was the calendar so scared?

  His days were numbered.

  What kind of school isn’t in the front and isn’t in the back?

  A middle school.

  What school did Sherlock Holmes attend?

  Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.

  Where do teachers grow their flowers?

  In the kinder-gardens.

  Why did the computer teacher leave a trap in his room?

  Because of the mouse problem.

  Try This

  Do You Know Your ZYX’s?

  Can you say the alphabet backward? Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, C, B, and A. How about an extra added twist? This time, try it while you are listening to music or TV at the same time. Concentration or the lack of it can affect how well we think and learn.

  Beth has an unusual talent. She can walk backward for miles. Some days she even walks to school backward. If it takes her longer to get there, how much farther is it to school?

  What would happen if you 8 and 8?

  Fun fact

  A Secret Message

  Did you know that before we discovered how funny and silly riddles are, people were actually using them to deliver secret messages? It was also believed that only very bright people would understand the messages or would be able to think of the answers.

  Math Class

  Look at the fraction below each blank. Pick the shape that shows that fraction, using these rules:

  • The white part of each shape is empty.

  • The shaded part of each shape is full.

  Write the letter of that shape on the line. When you are finished, you will have the answer to this riddle:

  Words to Know

  puzzle:

  A type of test or challenge sometimes used to confuse someone. Often puzzles are used for learning in school settings, such as language or math lessons. Other types of puzzles are actually objects or games.

  In Mrs. Sharpe’s class, each student has 1 writing instrument, either a pen or a pencil. If there are 21 students in her class and 1/3 use a pen, how many pencils are there in class?

  As Elizabeth wrote the date on her paper, she realized it read 04-04-04. All three numbers were the same! How many more years can this happen in a row?

  What did the paper say to the scissors when they kept poking him?

  Cut it out!

  What did the numbers call the new room in their house?

  Their addition.

  Why do rabbits do so well in school?

  They like to multiply.

  What do you get when you put 2 500-pound elephants on a teeter-totter?

  A broken teeter-totter!

  Why did everyone think their teacher was so special?

  She had a lot of “class.”

  What do you call numerals that don’t feel anything?

  “Numb”ers.

  Why didn’t the pencil do well on his test?

  He wasn’t very sharp.

  Chapter 12

  It's a Zoo

  Just for fun, Cassie taught her cat Freddie sign language. One day the cat tapped on the window (a sign for “bird”), tapped his tail on the wall (a sign for “mouse”), and jumped into the tub to swim (a sign for “fish”). What was Freddie trying to tell Cassie?

  When the circus comes to town Bobby always goes to see it. His favorite part is when the elephants build a pyramid. “Can you believe it?” asks the announcer. “A record 21 ELEPHANTS!” Amazed, Bobby starts counting: 1 on top, 2 below it, 3 more below them, and so on. If the announcer is right, how many elephants will be on the bottom row?

  Words to Know

  joke:

  A joke is an act or statement that causes laughter. Funny riddles are a type of joke.

  What do you call 2 half rabbits put together?

  A rabbit “whole.”

  What do you call a really strange anteater?

  An “odd-vark.”

  Why did the stallion need a cough drop?

  He was hoarse.

  What Beatles song do fish everywhere love?

  “Twist and Trout.”

  What do you get when you cross Sir Lancelot with a horse?

  A “knight-mare.”

  What did one cat call the other when he wouldn’t play fair?

  Cheetah!

  Fun fact

  Tickle Me Fun

  Did you know it is impossible for you to tickle yourself? It’s true; one of the things needed in tickling is the element of surprise—not expecting to be tickled
. Not sure? Try it for yourself.

  One night Tommy had a bad dream. There was a bull chasing him all around the arena, but just as the bull was about to ram him, Tommy got away. Do you know how?

  Which one of these does not belong in the group—shark, whale, and swordfish?

  Egg is to chicken as acorn is to what?

  What is bald but has its head covered?

  Which one of these does not belong to the set? Lion, tiger, elephant, and polar bear.

  When a small campground was robbed last week, the police brought the only witness in for a line-up. All of the animals were brought in and placed in a line. When it came time for the witness to point out the bandit, she said she couldn’t be sure which one had done it, because the robber looked like he was wearing a mask. Do you know who it was?

  Try This

  An Anagram of Your Own

  Have you ever tried to make your own anagrams? An anagram is a word or phrase formed by recording the letters of another word or phrase, like “late” and “tale.” How many anagrams can you and your friends come up with? “Twist and Trout.”

  Loop the Zoo!

  Find the path through the zoo that takes Zack to three of his favorite animals. Along the way, collect the letters that spell out three different answers to this riddle: What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?

  Where does a mother robin keep her money?

  In a nest egg.

  What do cows do for fun?

  They go to the “moo-vies.”

  How do sheep go to sleep?

  They count people.

  Why was the cow so excited when a horse moved in next door?

  He had never had a “neigh-bor” before.

  What was the last thing the frog did before he jumped?

  He croaked.

  What time is it when you sit on your cat?

  Time to get a new one.

  Words to Know

  pun:

  A pun is a play on words using two meanings of the same word or two words that sound the same but are spelled differently. For example, the word “sew” in the following joke: “Why do I have to?” the little sewing machine asked his mother. “Because I said SEW!” she replied.

  Take a look at the following sentence:

  “Ants busily crawl, doing everything fast.” What’s special about it?

  Fish swim and birds fly, but does it ever happen the other way around? Do birds ever swim and do fish ever fly? Can you think of any examples?

  Andrew has amazing pets. His dogs and cats would get along, but they eat each other’s food. How does Andrew keep this from happening?

  What do horses have at night?

  “Night-mares.”

  What do you call 2 insects that raise their young?

  “Pair-ants.”

  Why did the fox sell his fur?

  Because he “pelt” like it.

  Why does the duck walk everywhere he goes?

  Because he can’t drive.

  Why shouldn’t you make a tired canine tell the truth?

  Because you’re supposed to let sleeping dogs lie.

  Do possums really hang upside down from trees all night?

  It’s a “possum-bility.”

  Fun fact

  An April 1 Tradition

  Are you an April Fool? Being foolish is a tradition given to us long ago. Back then, the New Year was celebrated from March 21 to April 1. When it was decided the New Year should start on January 1, anyone who celebrated the old date became an April Fool.

  One day, cows from the Busy “B” ranch and cows from the Lazy “1” ranch got all mixed up. The ranch cowboys were confused. How can they tell the cows apart in order to separate them?

  When the circus came to town, everyone was surprised—even the lion tamer, as he discovered 7 new lion cubs in the lion cage. Before long, everyone agreed it would be best to separate the feisty cubs. But how? Then the ringmaster had an idea: “I know a way you can place 3 large rings to make 7 sections, one for each cub.” Do you know how to do that?

  Who am I?

  I work all day turning letters to help our contestants try to solve a riddle. Not only do they have a “wheely” good time, but they also have a chance to win a “fortune.”

  Who am I?

  What do you get when you wake a sleeping bear?

  Trouble!

  What are three words you never say to a raccoon?

  Coon skin cap.

  What do you call a really picky cat?

  A “paw-ticular” feline.

  How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?

  There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.

  What do you give to a 500-pound alligator when he knocks at your door?

  Anything he wants.

  How do fish finish their floors?

  They “carp it.”

  Say What?

  On each line, add the first and last letter to complete the name of the animal that is suggested by what that animal is saying. Then, read DOWN the shaded column to answer this riddle:

  Try This

  Take the Laughing Test

  How do you think you would do on a laughing test? To try the challenge, record someone laughing, then play back the tape to see if you can keep from laughing yourself. They say laughter is contagious. Can you come up with laughing tests of your own?

  Which creature doesn’t belong—wasp, bee, spider, or ant?

  Birds and fish are to worms as cats and snakes are to what?

  A vet has 10 sick hamsters, 10 sick dogs, and 10 ill cats. Unfortunately, he can’t leave them alone as they are not too sick for the dogs to attack the cats, and the cats to try to eat the hamsters. At the end of the day he decides to take them home to keep an eye on them. What is the smallest number of trips he can make across town and how?

  What do stripes, mane, tail, and hooves have in common?

  What do you call a sleeping baby goat?

  A “kid napping.”

  What happens when you blend a reptile with a back street?

  You get an “alley-gator.”

  What travels faster than the speed of dog?

  A cat!

  Why was the rabbit so excited about her engagement ring?

  It was 5 carrots!

  Why did they take Polly away?

  She went crackers!

  What did the giraffe say when he bent down to talk to the fish?

  LONG time no sea.

  Feel Better

  A riddle and its answer were put into the large grid, and then cut into eight pieces. See if you can figure out where each piece goes, and write the letters in their proper places. When you have filled the grid in correctly, you will be able to read the puzzle from left to right, and top to bottom. HINT: The black boxes stand for the spaces between words.

  When Mini’s family pulled up at the motel, Mini, her parents, and 12 brothers and sisters poured out of the car. How could that happen?

  What do a shark, a mouse, and a mole have in common?

  Fun fact

  A Human Survival Guide

  Over time people have studied how the human brain and body work together. One thing your brain knows is that you need at least 5 things to survive—water, food, oxygen, shelter, and clothing.

  Where do hogs go when they need a loan?

  To the piggy bank.

  What did one mouse say to the other mouse who held the door open for him?

  Why, that was very “mice” of you!

  What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?

  Let’s “snake” on it.

  Why did the cub get in trouble with his mother?

  She caught him “lion.”

  Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?

  Because the cat got his tongue.

  The minute Rastus laid eyes on the rattlesnake, it lunged at him, but it could not bite the boy. Can you guess why?

  What’s So Funny?

  When Ted arrived home one e
vening, he was startled by a bear in his yard! After his initial panic, he stopped and breathed a sigh of relief. The bear was no danger to him at all!

  What’s so funny?

  Chapter 13

  Travel the World

  Words to Know

  enigma:

  An enigma is a phrase or question that is confusing or hard to understand. Enigmas or riddles have been used throughout time to test one’s ability to solve a puzzle or mystery.

  When the storm hit and the plane attempted to land, everyone in the air and on the ground was speechless. Yet somehow they communicated the directions to land. How?

  What do the stop light, fire truck, and stop sign have in common?

  How did the snow pile get across the sea?

  It went a-drift.