Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book Page 8
Pond a nail into the wall!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dodger.
Dodger who?
Dodger before she
hits you with the ball!
Words to Know
ham actor:
A performer who likes a lot of attention while on stage. Ham actors love to show off by overacting and using exaggerated gestures.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon out of here!
Fun fact
Meet the Hummingbird
Hummingbirds are very special birds. For one thing, they are the only birds that can fly backward. Some species of hummingbirds are also the smallest birds on the planet. The Bee Hummingbird is only about 2. inches long, and half of that is its beak and tail! Hummingbird species also have some exotic names, such as Glowing Puffleg, the Purple-Crowned Fairy, and the Glittering-Bellied Emerald.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Gravy.
Gravy who?
Gravy Crockett!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Bill.
Bill who?
Bill collector!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is open!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cotton.
Cotton who?
I’ve Cotton as far as I could!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Archie.
Archie who?
Archie-oo!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Combat.
Combat who?
Combat when you have
something nice to say!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cot.
Cot who?
Cot you stealing the cookies!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Hearsay.
Hearsay who?
Hearsay present for you!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Falafel.
Falafel who?
Falafel about the fight!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Bin.
Bin who?
Bin a nice visit!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Sis.
Sis who?
’Sis any way to treat me?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Belize.
Belize who?
Belize let me in!
What am I?
I live in a very small place all by myself. There are no doors or windows and I don’t go outside. If I want to leave, I have to break down the walls.
What am I?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida who?
I’da done it myself if I could!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ana.
Ana who?
Ana-conda is a scary snake!
Try This
Blowing in the Wind
On a windy day, wet your finger and hold it up in the air. You’ll notice that one side of your finger feels colder than the other. This is because the wind made the water on that side of your finger evaporate quicker. This is a good way to tell which way the wind is blowing!
Tennis Anyone?
Look at the fraction below each blank. Pick the shape that shows that fraction, using these rules: The white part of each shape is empty; the shaded part is full. Write the letter that’s near that shape on the line. When you are finished, you will have the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Poodle. Poodle who?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Firewood.
Firewood who?
Firewood go out late every night!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Babylon.
Babylon who?
Babylon and on, that’s all she does!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
India.
India who?
India nighttime I go to bed!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Walt.
Walt who?
Walt till your mother gets home!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Allison.
Allison who?
Al-lison to you when you speak!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Faye.
Faye who?
Faye all laugh when I tell a joke!
What’s So Funny
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Paul.
Paul who?
Paul’s well that
ends well!
Words to Know
slapstick:
A type of physical comedy with a lot of horseplay. The Three Stooges—Larry, Moe, and Curly—are famous for their slapstick routines. Slapstick is also used to describe an instrument made of two flat pieces of wood that are fastened together to make a striking sound. Sometimes comedians will use this instrument in their routines.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby stung me!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Gibbon.
Gibbon who?
Gibbon me a hard time!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Witches.
Witches who?
Witches the right way?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Aunt Lou.
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Lou do you think you are?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben knocking on the door all day!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana go home!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
House.
House who?
House it going?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dawn.
Dawn who?
Dawn leave me, I’ll miss you!
What am I?
I’ve been around for millions of years, yet I’m never more than a month old. Some people say I look like Swiss cheese. You’ll hardly ever see me during the day!
What am I?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will come home!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Shah.
Shah who?
Shah the door, it’s cold outside!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Abbott.
Abbott who?
Ab-bott time you asked!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Greece.
Greece who?
Greece is all over the stove!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Juicy.
Juicy who?
’Juicy what I see?
Fun fact
Aren’t You Glad You Know It?
The English language is very hard to learn. That’s because there are so many special rules and so many words that sound the same but have completely different meanings. For example, if your throat hurts, you can be hoarse, but you can also go to the farm and ride a horse. Soldiers may desert the fort, but eat dessert.
Introduction to Ri
ddles
You may have come to know riddles and brain teasers as a great way to get a good laugh, or maybe to challenge a friend. You may even like to challenge yourself with these riddles. But did you know that thousands of years ago, people just like you were interested in a good riddle or puzzle, too?
Some were interested for different reasons than others, depending on their needs. For instance, one of the first uses for a riddle was to “secretly” carry a message from one person to another—a quiz of sorts that only you knew the answer to, and hopefully the person on the other end would be smart enough to solve or figure out. Unfortunately, not everyone was. For example, one of the most famous riddles of all time was that of Samson from the Bible. As a challenge, Samson tried to trick the Philistines with a riddle about honey. Frustrated and angry, the people decided to solve the riddle of Samson’s strength instead. When they discovered the answer, they removed his hair, took away his strength, and defeated him.
Many of the words or expressions in our world are forms of these earlier riddles and brain teasers. Take your name, for example. Did you know that your name has a hidden meaning? The stories behind both our first and last names are usually more than meet the eye. Entire books have been written to explain the original meanings behind any first name. Last names are usually easier to guess, as people used to “sneak” what they did for a living into their last name, such as Smith (for blacksmith or goldsmith) and Wagoner. Or, they would use their father’s name and then add the word “son” on the end, as in Johnson and Peterson. And middle names? Well, they hid your family lineage by using your mother’s maiden name for your middle name.
Puzzling maybe, but there’s more: Do you know which famous author secretly fooled a great number of readers by using his last name spelled backward? Actually, his last name was Geisel, and when he wrote it backward, it became Lesieg . . . but he became famous through his middle name. Do you know what it was? (The answer is at the end of this page.) Authors aren’t the only tricksters. Artists and actors, musicians and entertainers also like to challenge us to try to figure out the sometimes-tough riddle of who they are. Or better yet, who they were.
Probably the biggest brain teaser of all is trying to solve the puzzle of the mind itself. Understanding how our brains work has been one of the greatest mysteries ever. Today, the workings of the brain are still a riddle or brain teaser in need of a solution, if you are interested. This book would be a wonderful place for you to start warming up for a mental challenge.
Almost everyone loves a good mystery or puzzle, and puzzles are a fun way of exercising your brain and testing your friends’ skills as well. Best of all, riddles and brain teasers are there to be enjoyed. So, prepare to be tricked, tested, riddled, and teased until you can’t take any more—and have fun!
Chapter 11
Time for School
Words to Know
brain teaser:
A question or test used to tease and entertain our brains. Some types of brain teasers also stimulate our funny bones. These popular little puzzles or mysteries have been around for a long time.
The school janitor has 100 keys on his ring and can’t remember which key opens the front door. What are the odds that he’ll find it the first time? Bonus: What if he tries 2 keys?
When Johnny Falls brought his plant to school for an experiment, nothing he tried could make it grow. Do you know why?
Hint: His name is part of the clue.
Why do scissors cut in a line?
They can’t stand to wait.
What did Mary tell her little lamb?
Ewe cannot be at school.
Where do elementary school teachers like to go sailing?
Out on the AB seas.
Why couldn’t O go to the game?
Because it was too busy minding its Ps and Qs.
How did all the school supplies find their way out of the classroom?
They used the compass.
Which grade keeps the best time?
“Second” grade.
On Tuesday, little Tommy was asked to write I AM SORRY FOR WHAT I DID 50 times on a sheet of paper. The last time he was in trouble, he had to write it out 100 times. What do you think about his two offenses?
Do you know which letter of the alphabet comes before R? L? A?
Try This
Count Me Crazy
Can you count backward from 100 by 6’s? It would go like this: 100, 94, 88, 82, 76, 70, 64, 58, 52, 46, 40, 34, 28, 22, 16, 10, 4. Now, try counting backward by 5’s, only this time see if you can count backward while walking backward! Careful now, you should be somewhere safe and in the open for this one!
What is a wizard’s favorite subject?
Spell-ing.
Why is a ruler the most stubborn of your school supplies?
Because it’s very narrow-minded.
Why was the English book following the math book around?
He was studying him.
Why did the pair of safety scissors fail her cutting test?
She didn’t get the point.
When the police officers arrived at the scene of the crime, how did they know that the letters, not the numbers, were innocent?
It just didn’t add up.
If Carter Elementary School has 2 front doors, 2 back doors, 3 bathroom doors, and 7 classroom doors, how many doors are there “in” the school?
When Maddy started school, she was 5 years old. Now that she is in third grade, she is only 6. How can that be? Hint: Mad-dy’s birthday is in February.
Words to Know
riddle:
A question or event of puzzling nature that requires you to think of an answer. Some riddles are a type of joke. Other riddles are really challenging.
What’s So Funny?
When Mrs. Spacey’s class returned from recess, she seemed very upset. She was sure someone had taken her glasses. “This isn’t funny, class!” she scolded as she looked high and low under her desk and all over the room. If only they could stop laughing long enough to get one word out, someone would tell her where they were!
What’s so funny?
Jennifer’s teacher has 17 students in her class. When a new student arrived, she had to change the tables in her room. She used to have 2 medium tables, seating 5, and 1 large table, seating 7. Now, if she can also get small tables seating 3, which tables will she need and how many of them?
During recess, Alexia and her friends like to make up codes. Her favorite code uses the letter of the alphabet that comes right after the letter that it actually stands for. Using her code, can you figure out what she wrote in this message?
J MPWF CSBJO UFBTFST.
For an entire week the students in Mr. Wilson’s science class participated in an experiment to see how many hairs you lose from your head each day. After 1 week of brushing, the average was around 100 hairs perday. Yet Mr. Wilson’s brush was clean. Do you know why?
Fun fact
Brain Power
The brain is a mass of tissue located inside your head. Your brain serves as central command control. It’s the center of your nervous system and regulatesyour thoughts, emotions, and the functions of your body.
Why why did did the the history history teacher teacher say say every every thing thing twice twice?
Because history repeats itself.
What is a snake’s favorite part of school?
Recessssssss!
Do you know why the chalk was always yawning?
It was “board.”
What will you never find at the end of class?
The head of the class.
Which insect does the best in English class?
The spelling bee.
What do you call a group of strange numbers?
Odd.
“Well,” said Mrs. Ray. “I see 5 people wore ponytails to school today.” “Don’t you mean 4, Mrs. Ray?” asked Hannah. Why does Hannah think there are only 4?
Toby likes to climb up the slide at recess. Ever
y time he climbs up 5 feet, he slides back down 2. How many times does he need to climb up for him to reach 9 feet?
There are 30 students in Jake’s class. Fifteen of the students have brown hair, 10 of them are blond, and 7 have red hair. If all of the brown-haired students and half of the blonde-haired students have brown eyes, and all of the rest of them have green eyes, how many more students have brown eyes than green?
Try This
Rhyme—No Reason
Do you know how many letters in the alphabet rhyme with the letter B? Eight—C, D, E, G, P, T, V, and Z. Now try making a list of words for your family or friends to try to find a rhyme for. If you want to try an experiment on them, give them 2 sets of lists to try to memorize. One set has 8 words that rhyme, while the other has 8 that do not. Which list will be easier for them to remember?
Bad Band
Begin by writing as many answers as you can under the clues. Then, enter each letter into its numbered box in the answer grid (one has been done for you). Continue working back and forth between the clues and the grid. When you are finished, you will have the answer to the following riddle:
On the playground, Travis sees an amazing swing set with 20 swings. While he watches his friends swing, he realizes that as the first swing swings forward, the second one swings back, the third one swings forward, and so on. Which way is the eleventh one swinging?
For Erin’s birthday, her mother brought cookies to school. Erin’s class has 17 students and 1 teacher, but 3 children were sick that day and 1 went to the dentist. If her mother brought 30 cookies, how many cookies did everyone receive?
Try This
Writing Riddles and Brain Teasers
You can write brain teasers and riddles backward, by taking the punchline, or answer, and adding a question to the beginning of it. For example, using the phrase “This is the pits!” you can add the question, “What did one cherry say to the other when he knew it was the end?”