Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book Page 10
What did the P. E. teacher ride in to the ball?
A coach.
How did the train engine know he was lost?
He was on the wrong side of the tracks.
How long does it take for a person to fly to Chicago?
People can’t fly, silly!
What kind of water greets you?
An ocean wave.
What does a train say when it has a cold?
Ahhh Choo-Choo!
When Anna’s family decided to take a vacation, everyone wanted to go. So Anna, her mom and dad, her two brothers, their Aunt Lucille, their Uncle Ed, and Grandma rode the bus together all the way from New York to California and back again. How many people in all made the trip?
Who am I?
There was no mystery I could not solve. All I needed was a magnifying glass and my good friend. It’s elementary, my dear. Who am I?
Who am I?
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
How did the dentist get across the river?
With a “tooth ferry.”
How do you fasten a railroad track together?
With a railroad tie.
What do you call an angry ship?
A steamed boat.
When does a truck sleep?
When it gets “tire-d.”
What is the opposite of a put-down?
A pick-up.
When Juan’s plane left the ground it was 2 p.m. After flying for 2 hours, it landed—but the clocks at the airport showed that it was still 2 p.m. How can this be?
If three friends moved to the same town, and one lived on E-X Avenue, while another lived on E-Y Road, where does the third one live?
What doesn’t belong? Snow skis, Jet Ski, bus, motorcycle.
Fun fact
Laughing Out Loud
Did you know that the older you get, the less you laugh? Babies laugh on and off all day long, while someone who is older may laugh only once a day. Now, make sure you don’t miss your chance to laugh your head off!
Do you know what a watch does on vacation?
Time travel.
What did the space travelers eat on their flight?
Astro-nuts.
What’s the last thing you see when a train goes by?
Its tracks.
Why wouldn’t the police officer cross the road?
Because the light wasn’t green.
Why did the army sergeant’s car die?
Because its “tank” was empty.
What do accountants ride in?
A “tax-i.”
What’s So Funny?
Ike the famous bike rider pedaled for hours on his bike only to find that he was right back where he started. What’s so funny?
What’s so funny?
What doesn’t belong in this list? Pen, paper, spatula, notebook.
Joey and his sister Hannah like to play “I Spy” when they travel in the car. They decide that this time the first person who “spies” the most legs on the trip wins! Joey sees 2 deer, 11 cows, 2 cats, and a spider. Hannah sees 1 turkey, 7 cows, 3 sheep, and 4 cats. Who won?
Words to Know
amusement:
What people do or use in order to entertain themselves or someone else. Silly or fun things are used to amuse people every day.
The class was really puzzled when the teacher asked them: “When can you see through the desert?” Do you know?
Funny Flight
First, figure out what word each picture puzzle represents. Then put the words in the proper order to finish what this silly traveler is saying. Write the numbers in the upper lefthand corner of each picture.
What did the thief get when he stole the tram?
Bus-ted!
What does an elephant always take on safari?
His trunk.
What do girl scouts put on their S’mores when they camp at the swamp?
”Marsh”mallows.
Where does dinnerware go on vacation?
To China.
As Mrs. Rockefeller was leaving the airport, she found herself accidentally trapped in the revolving glass doors. She had no luggage, no tools, and nobody was around. She eventually made a hole and escaped. How? Hint: Her name.
No matter how long the new department store clerk walked down the stairs, he could never seem to reach the basement. Why?
Where in the World
First, figure out what word each picture puzzle represents. Then put the words in the proper order to finish what this silly traveler is saying. Write the numbers in the upper lefthand corner of each picture.
Who am I?
I am the brains behind Garfield’s intelligent tricks. I also try to help Odie think of ways to get back at him. I have been “drawn” to fun for years.
Who am I?
If flying to California takes 1½ hours, and flying to Texas takes 2, and flying to Hawaii takes twice as long as a trip to both places, how long is your flight to Hawaii?
What vehicle travels over the ground at speeds much faster than a car but can also go through mountains?
Sydney and Sadie are cousins. One day, Sydney and Sadie went on vacation to Japan. Sadie’s flight took 7 hours while Sydney’s took 33. Both flights were nonstop and Sydney and Sadie both left home at the same time from the same city in California. How can this be?
Where do skydivers put their laundry? In the “para-chute.”
What did the child say to the captain when their boat hit rough waters?
I can’t steer this, “canoe”?
Where do restless travelers like to go?
To Rome.
What place do worms like to visit the most?
The Big Apple.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
Try This
Stare Me Down
Have you ever tried having a stare down contest? It’s fun and easy. All you need is a friend and a lot of concentration. While sitting straight across from your friend, your challenge is to see who can stare into the other person’s eyes the longest without blinking or laughing. It’s that easy . . . or is it?
Why did the plant get lost on its trip?
It took the wrong “root.”
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What do you call it when a highway stumbles?
A road trip.
How does milk travel around?
In a “car ton.”
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
How does Robin Hood get from here to there?
In an “arrow plane.”
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
What can travel all over the world, without anyone seeing it?
What do the words yield, walk, merge, and slow have in common?
Fun fact
A Hypo What?
The hypothalamus gland in your brain is the reason you can laugh or find some things funny. It also controls your other emotions. One other interesting thing the hypothalamus does is remind your brain to stay awake.
The Hungry Traveler
The following riddle is missing 12 important letters! See if you can fit the letters from the box into the correct blanks. To create an ending that fits this silly story, unscramble the letters in the second box, and fit them into the blanks. HINT: You will use some of the letters more than once!
Car, tricycle, scooter, and wheelbarrow. What is special about this group?
When Bartholomew went to the beach, he found an item that was strong enough to hold a rock, but unable to hold water. Do you know what this mystery item was?
Try This
Write Your Own Comic Strip
If you like to read the “funny pages” or comics in the newspaper, you know a picture or comic can make you laugh. But have you ever tried to make your own comic strip? Learning how to draw or make comics can be a lot of fun.
Try it on a rainy day—or try it today!
Why did the motorcycle stop by the side of the road?
It was “two tire-d” to go on.
What did the mother river name her baby?
Brook.
How do stones get where they are going?
They rock-it.
What do puppies like to ride in?
Waggins.
What do you get when you cross 2 curlers with 2 butter knives?
A pair of roller-blades.
When the night guards found a tourist unconscious on the ground, they were unsure of who he was or whom to contact. Eventually, at the hospital, they “developed” a plan. What was it?
Who am I?
Some say the way that I solved the biggest escape puzzle of all time was simply magic. I like to think it was because I used my brain.
Who am I?
Chapter 14
Food and Drink
Words to Know
conundrum:
A conundrum is a riddle that has a pun (or something with two different meanings) for the answer. Here’s an example: Why was the letter B in a boat? He was going out to C. But there’s another meaning to “conundrum”—it could also be a dilemma or a problem that cannot be solved.
What’s the next word?
Dirt, worm, bird, .
Once upon a time, a little girl dressed in blue went to her grandmother’s Swiss cottage. Why?
When Sara invited some friends over to watch a movie, her parents decided to order pizza for all of them. When the delivery came, there were 2 large pizzas and 1 small one. If a large pizza serves 8 people and a small pizza serves 4, how many friends were at Sara’s house?
When is a riddle not a riddle?
When you put a “G” in front of it (griddle).
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
What can rise without ever sleeping?
Bread.
If your dog’s down, what’s your cat?
Catsup.
Why did the coffee cup go down to the police station?
To report that he had been mugged.
How did the police officers help him?
They showed him several mug shots.
Fun fact
What’s Your IQ?
Your IQ or Intelligence Quotient is arrived at by measuring your chronological age with your mental age. The average score is around 100. The score of a genius will average around 40 to 50 points higher.
Try This
Writing on the Wall
Writing on the Wall Over time researchers have found that no two people have the same handwriting, just like no two people have the same fingerprints. If you study a few samples of other people’s handwriting, you may also discover that handwriting can sometimes reveal personality traits. For example, those who separate their letters may be artistic and independent, while those whose letters are very close together might enjoy some company.
When there was a knock at the door, a man who could not see and could not hear somehow knew that someone had left him apple pie outside. How did he know?
Jill left a solid object on the floor of her room for 3 hours. In those 3 hours, no one had touched it, and yet it completely disappeared on its own. What was the object?
What do you call a giggling field of corn?
Laughing stalks.
What does Count Dracula use to cut his food?
A “stake” knife.
What kind of food is sick all the time?
Wheat germ.
When 2 eggs were placed in a blender, the first egg asked, “What’s going on here?” What did the second egg say?
“Beats me.”
How does bread get up in the morning?
It rises.
Why do melons rarely marry?
They “cantaloupe” (can’t elope).
Cucumbers, carrots, onions, tomatoes, and peas—which one doesn’t belong?
One day Katherine decided to make a picture out of food, just for fun. First she used strawberries, then oranges, then lemons, then kiwis, then blueberries, and then another fruit. What did she use last and why?
What do trees eat their ice cream out of?
Pinecones.
Why did the knife cross the road?
Because there was a fork in it.
What do you call a little potato?
Small fry.
What do you get when a bunch of grapes tries to cross a highway?
A traffic jam.
How does a cucumber know when it’s in trouble?
It’s in a pickle.
What drink always comes to your rescue?
Lemon-aide.
Try This
Let’s Play Charades
One sure way to get everyone laughing is to start up a game of charades. The next time you get together with family or friends, try acting out one of these: Fun house mirrors, riding a roller-coaster, buying new shoes, shopping for groceries, and running a race. Can you think of any other fun charades?
What type of food can contain all of the food groups?
Frosting, platter, candles, and sprinkles— what’s missing?
Frightened Food
Use a colored marker to highlight each of the 30 foods stuffed into this letter grid. The words can go sideways, up and down, diagonal, and even backward! After you have found them all, collect the unused letters from TOP to BOTTOM and LEFT to RIGHT, and write them in order on the blank spaces provided. When you’re finished, you’ll have the answer to this riddle:
EXTRA FUN: Use three different colors of highlight markers to show your answers!
APPLE
BEET
BLINTZ
BREAD
BROWNIES
CAKE
CARROT
CHEESE
CLAM
EGG
HAMBURGER
HOTDOG
JELLY
KIWI
MILK
ORANGE
PEA
PEANUT BUTTER
PEAR
PEPPER
PIE
PIZZA
PLUM
PORK
RADISH
SALAD
SPAGHETTI
TUNA FISH
TURKEY
YAM
Every night when Pop came home, as he opened his door a light came on, and as he closed it, the light went off. Why?
What’s going on here?
Cup
Fork
Spoon
Glass
Plate
Knife
Napkin
Saucer
Daniel took a piece of bread, and on top of that he placed a slice of tomato. Next, he added a piece of lettuce, a slice of meat, and a piece of cheese. Do you know what he made?
Good Home Cookin’
Start at the letter marked with a dot. As you spiral into the center of the shell, collect every other letter. Write them in order on the lines below. When you reach the middle, head back out again, collecting all the letters that you skipped over the first time. Write these letters in order on the lines. When you are finished, you will have the answer to this riddle:
What’s So Funny?
When Chelsea ordered a cheeseburger at Burgers-R-Us, she waited patiently while Calvin carefully added the pickles, onion, cheese, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, and tomato. Just as she was about to take a bite, Calvin yelled, “Wait a minute!”
What’s so funny?
In cooking class the teacher asked for volunteers. Each volunteer had to answer a question. When it was Amy’s turn, the teacher asked her what the difference was between freezing and boiling. Amy used the examples of ice cubes and hot cocoa. Although her teacher thought those were good examples, it wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Do you know the answer?
When Ben and his father went to the grocery store, his father asked him if he could find 4 foods in the store that had holes in them but that were
still whole. Ben found more than 4. How many can you think of?
What’s a pig’s favorite way to cook?
Bakin’ (bacon).
What did the potato call his son?
Chip.
What does a hog do in the sun?
Roast.
What do mugs build their homes out of?
“Cup boards.”
Why were the cups and the forks all alone?
Because the dish ran away with the spoon.
What did the syrup call her sweetheart? Honey.
Who am I?
“To be or not to be” is my hint of who I am. I could also mention Romeo and Juliet. I am well known for my plays as well as my poems.
Who am I?
Second Helping
Second Helping Place each of the seven-letter words into the boxes in alphabetical order, starting with the top row and working your way to the bottom.
When you’re finished, read down the third column to get the answer to this riddle:
What food tastes better before it is cooked?
For a second helping of laughs, read down the fourth column to get the answer to this riddle: