Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book Read online

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Thurston.

  Thurston who?

  Thurston for a milkshake!

  What am I?

  I travel in packs and have beautiful fur. I can survive almost anywhere as long as there is plenty to eat. My scientific name is Canis lupus, but you know me from a famous fairy tale. I was framed, I tell you! Little Red Riding Hood set me up!

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Carl.

  Carl who?

  Carl get you there faster!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Honey.

  Honey who?

  Honey way home we’ll stop

  for ice cream!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  China.

  China who?

  China tell you

  something!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Warner.

  Warner who?

  Warner lift to school?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Farrah.

  Farrah who?

  Farrah ’nough!

  Chapter 9

  A Knock Here,

  a Knock There

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Sybil.

  Sybil who?

  Sybil-ization!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Egg.

  Egg who?

  Eggstremely cold!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Curry.

  Curry who?

  Curry the package home!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Andy.

  Andy who?

  He did it once, Andy did it again!

  Try This

  Invent Your Own Animals

  Look through some old magazines to see how many animal pictures you can find. Cut out the legs of a dog, the ears of a cat, the face of a chicken, the body of a giraffe, or whatever parts you want from the other animals that you see. Make your own combinations of the cutouts, and come up with as many “new” animals as you can. Then give them all funny names, like “dogachickiraffe”! Now make up a story about where these types of creature can be found, what they like to eat, and what strange habits they have!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Minnie.

  Minnie who?

  Minnie more miles to go!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Eiffel.

  Eiffel who?

  Eiffel sick!

  Words to Know

  gag:

  A prank or joke that makes people laugh. Sometimes a comedian will have a running gag in the show (that means the same gag will be repeated over and over again). Running gags can also be part of television shows, movies, and plays.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Duke.

  Duke who?

  Duke you come here often?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Gladys.

  Gladys who?

  Gladys lunch time, I’m starved!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Newark.

  Newark who?

  Newark for you when you finish the

  old work!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ears.

  Ears who?

  Ears looking at you, kid!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Aretha.

  Aretha who?

  Aretha flowers for the door!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Gecko.

  Gecko who?

  Gecko-ing or you’ll be late!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Grape.

  Grape who?

  Grape pie, can I have some more!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Lacey.

  Lacey who?

  Lacey days of summer!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Wafer.

  Wafer who?

  Wafer the bus!

  What am I?

  I look like a star in the sky but I live at the bottom of the sea. I’m tough on the outside and I’ve got a great talent: If I lose an arm I can easily grow a new one back!

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Enid.

  Enid who?

  Enid to take a nap!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Carrie.

  Carrie who?

  Carrie these boxes, they’re not heavy!

  Fun fact

  Freeze Frame

  When you sneeze, all of your body functions stop— even your heart stops pumping for a moment. Whenever you sneeze, air rushes through your body at a rate of 100 miles per hour. And it’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tommy.

  Tommy who?

  My Tommy hurts from too much pie!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Doughnut.

  Doughnut who?

  Doughnut be scared, it’s only a joke!

  Do I Know You?

  The letters in each column go in the squares directly below them, but not in the same order! Black squares are for punctuation, and the spaces between the words. When you have correctly filled in the grid, you will have a silly conversation between two people on opposite sides of a door!

  Don’t Forget to Brush

  See if you can fit all the words into their proper place in the grid. When you are finished, read down the center column to get the answer to this joke:

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Tuba.

  Tuba who?

  What’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Oscar.

  Oscar who?

  Oscar again, she didn’t

  hear you the first time!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Honeydew.

  Honeydew who?

  Honeydew-nuts are yummy!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Congo.

  Congo who?

  Congo out, I’m grounded!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Woodstock.

  Woodstock who?

  Woodstock up on food if I were you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Lorraine.

  Lorraine who?

  Lorraine is falling and I’m getting

  soaked!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Daisy.

  Daisy who?

  Daisy goes to school, nights he

  sleeps!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Bored.

  Bored who?

  Bored of education!

  Try This

  A Neighborhood

  Scrapbook

  Go on a nature walk in your neighborhood. See how many different types of flowers and animals you can identify. When you get home, look for pictures of the flowers and animals in magazines. Cut out some of these. Then paste the pictures onto construction paper. Punch holes in the construction paper and tie the pages together with a ribbon.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Fresno.

  Fresno who?

  Fresno fun when he’s angry!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Beezer.

  Beezer who? />
  Beezer black

  and yellow!

  Dots funny

  Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dots. Dots who?

  Color in all the squares with a dot in the upper right-hand corner . . .

  . . . and unscramble the words.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tarzan.

  Tarzan who?

  Tarzan stripes!

  What am I?

  I live in the forest and I make loud noises with my beak when I find a tree with lots of tasty bugs in it. You can’t mistake my sound. You may know my uncle—he’s a funny cartoon character named Woody.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Moose.

  Moose who?

  Moose have been a long night!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Seville.

  Seville who?

  Seville you come to the dance?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Disk.

  Disk who?

  Disk is a holdup,

  put your hands in the air!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Topeka.

  Topeka who?

  Topeka apples you

  have to go to the orchard!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Hominy.

  Hominy who?

  Hominy times do I have to tell you?

  whimsical:

  Light or funny. Many things are whimsical. For example, knock-knock jokes are pretty whimsical! Stage-acting with a lot of clowning around is pretty whimsical too.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Walrus.

  Walrus who?

  Why do you

  walrus ask so

  many questions?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Malcolm.

  Malcolm who?

  Malcolm it took you so long to answer

  the door?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Garden.

  Garden who?

  Garden the secret treasure!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Les.

  Les who?

  Les-sons to be learned!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Value.

  Value who?

  Value come to the park with me?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Iona.

  Iona who?

  Iona TV set!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dozen.

  Dozen who?

  Dozen anyone know who I am?

  What’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Burden.

  Burden who?

  Burden the tree

  is singing!

  Fun fact

  Just Four

  There are thousands of words in the English language, but there are only four that end with “dous.” Can you guess them? They are tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Disguise.

  Disguise who?

  Disguise the limit!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Arf.

  Arf who?

  Arf-a-got!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?v

  Hallways.

  Hallways who?

  Hallways running off somewhere!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Oil.

  Oil who?

  Oil we do is tell knock-knock jokes!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Irish.

  Irish who?

  I-rish I had lots of money!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tibet.

  Tibet who?

  Early Tibet,

  early to rise!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Rex.

  Rex who?

  Rex-taurant’s just down the road!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Sadie.

  Sadie who?

  Sadie word and I’ll be there!

  What am I?

  When I strut around, I look very proud. My feathers come in different colors, and they make me very beautiful. When I dance around, my feathers spread out like a fan.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dragon.

  Dragon who?

  Dragon your feet will

  get you nowhere!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Andover.

  Andover who?

  Andover the loot!

  Try This

  Shifty Eyes

  In a dark room, stand in front of a mirror with a flashlight. Hold the flashlight at the side of your face, near one of your eyes. Turn on the flashlight. Watch your pupils get smaller as you let in more and more light. When the light in a room is dim, the pupil gets bigger to let more light in. When the light is bright, the pupil gets smaller!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Norton.

  Norton who?

  Norton nice to say!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Roland.

  Roland who?

  Rol-and some milk would be nice!

  Chapter 10

  Knock Me Down,

  More Knock-Knocks

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Bea.

  Bea who?

  Bea cool!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dancer.

  Dancer who?

  ’Dancer to the question!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tuna.

  Tuna who?

  Tuna your piano, it sounds horrible!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Saturn.

  Saturn who?

  Saturn day is my favorite day of

  the week!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Snow.

  Snow who?

  ’Snow business like show business!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Avon.

  Avon who?

  Avon-a go home!

  What am I?

  I live in the sea and have eight arms. I use all my arms to catch food. I’m squishy and when I’m in danger I release a cloud of black ink to scare off my enemies.

  What am I?

  What’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Donavan.

  Donavan who?

  Donavan think

  about leaving!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Kenya.

  Kenya who?

  Kenya think of a new game?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Discounts.

  Discounts who?

  Discounts toward your final grade!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Odysseus.

  Odysseus who?

  Odysseus the last time

  I’m going to tell you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Howard.

  Howard who?

  And Howard you?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Value.

  Value who?

  Value be my best friend?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Lenny.

  Lenny w
ho?

  Lenny in the

  house please!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Morgan.

  Morgan who?

  Morgan you can hope for!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Mac.

  Mac who?

  Mac and cheese!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Amos.

  Amos who?

  Amos-quito

  just bit me!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Toot and Teresa.

  Toot and Teresa who?

  Toots company, Teresa crowd!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Sherwood.

  Sherwood who?

  Sherwood like to be invited in!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ina Claire.

  Ina Claire who?

  Ina Claire night you can see the stars!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dustin.

  Dustin who?

  Dustin off the furniture!

  Try This

  Flower Power

  Find a white flower with a long stem. Split the stem up the middle without breaking the flower. Get two glasses of water, and then add a few drops of food coloring to the water, using a different color for each glass. Put one of the stem halves in one glass, and the other half in the other glass. Now, just wait and watch the flower turn two different colors!

  Who Comes First?

  Fill in the answers to the clues, placing one letter in each numbered space. Then transfer the letters to the boxes that have the same numbers. When all the boxes are filled in correctly, you will have the answer to the joke!

  Read My Lips

  Color in each letter found in the word L-I-PS. Then, write the remaining uncolored letters, in order, on the lines provided. When you’re finished, you will have the answer to this joke:

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Me.

  Me who?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Nadia.

  Nadia who?

  Nadia head if you agree!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Pond.

  Pond who?