Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book Read online

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Minerva.

  Minerva who?

  Minerva-s wreck!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dennis.

  Dennis who?

  Dennis is going to fix my toothache!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Worm.

  Worm who?

  Worm yourself by the fireplace!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Honeycomb.

  Honeycomb who?

  Honeycomb your

  hair, it’s a mess!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Amir.

  Amir who?

  Amir so let me in!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Les.

  Les who?

  Les go home!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Isadore.

  Isadore who?

  Isadore open?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ford.

  Ford who?

  Ford he’s a jolly good fellow!

  Half a Chance

  This young lady only got half of her picture printed! Complete her portrait by copying the first half, square by square, into the empty grid.

  Next, figure out which letter goes into each box, below. When you are finished, you will learn the second half of her name, too!

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Alison.

  Alison who?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Luke.

  Luke who?

  Luke out, I’m going to tell another knock-knock

  joke!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Butter.

  Butter who?

  Butter if I keep it a secret!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Throat.

  Throat who?

  Throat out if it’s rotten!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dummy.

  Dummy who?

  Dummy a favor and be quiet!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Blue.

  Blue who?

  Blue away in the wind!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tamara.

  Tamara who?

  Tamara is Thursday!

  Fun fact

  Snady Creations

  Those drinking glasses you have in the cabinet started out as sand on the beach! Hard to believe, but true. To make glass, sand is heated until it melts. Then the liquid is carefully shaped into glassware for you to drink your lemonade out of.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Handsome.

  Handsome who?

  Handsome chips to me, I’m hungry!

  Try This

  An Optical Illusion

  Take two magnifying glasses and hold them together, one on top of the other. Look closely at the words on an opened book through both lenses. Now, slowly pull the magnifying glasses toward you. Watch the words get bigger and bigger. If you keep pulling the magnifying glasses toward you, you’ll see something strange happen. Suddenly, the words flip. This is because the lenses bent the light rays!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Needle.

  Needle who?

  Needle little love in your life?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tom.

  Tom who?

  Tomcat ate your tongue?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Quill.

  Quill who?

  Quill you marry me?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Woody.

  Woody who?

  Woody want from me?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Fanny.

  Fanny who?

  Fanny body home?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Jeannette.

  Jeannette who?

  ’Jeann-ette has a lot of holes in it!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Harmony.

  Harmony who?

  Harmony more knock knocks do you

  want to hear?

  Try This

  A Bugalicious Snack

  Like insects? This snack is fun to make and even more fun to eat. You’ll need some celery, peanut butter, and raisins. Put some peanut butter on the celery sticks, then place the raisins in the peanut butter. You now have ants on a log! Yummy!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dexter.

  Dexter who?

  Dexter halls with boughs of holly!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Faith.

  Faith who?

  Faith the music!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Al.

  Al who?

  Al be leaving soon!

  Words to Know

  Shtick:

  A show-business word that means a comedian’s routine. Most comedians have a certain type of act that they do much of the time. Comedians go on tour to do their shtick.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Thatcher.

  Thatcher who?

  Thatcher idea of a knock-knock joke?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Israeli.

  Israeli who?

  Israeli nice of you to come over!

  Rhyme Time

  Can you use eight single-syllable words that rhyme with “knock” to describe the actions and things in this picture?

  EXTRA FUN: Can you see two other things that can be described using two-syllable words that end in “-ock”?

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Kent.

  Kent who?

  Kent you tell?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Goose.

  Goose who?

  You goose who! I already know!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Hewlett.

  Hewlett who?

  Hewlett you in the house?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Violet.

  Violet who?

  Violet a good meal go to waste?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Spider.

  Spider who?

  ’Spider everything, I’m still here!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Elaine.

  Elaine who?

  Elaine on the highway is closed!

  Fun fact

  It’s Electric!

  Humans aren’t the only ones who know how to communicate with each other. Many animals have a way of communicating. Birds chirp, dogs bark, and cats meow. There are some fish out there that have a very interesting way of letting other sea creatures know what’s on their minds. About 500 different species of fish use electricity to communicate. A banded knife fish, for example, may scare off an enemy by flashing on and off!

  Chapter 5

  Who's That Knockin ?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Eden.

  Eden who?

  Eden all the pudding!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Paris.

  Paris who?

  Paris the thought!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Homer.

  Homer who?

  Homer-run is great if
>
  you can hit one!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Cash.

  Cash who?

  Cash whos are yummy!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Plato.

  Plato who?

  Plato mashed potatoes!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ray.

  Ray who?

  Ray-ning all week long!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Turner.

  Turner who?

  Turner ‘round, quick!

  Words to Know

  punch line:

  A punch line has nothing to do with anyone punching. It is actually the funniest—or punchiest—part of a joke. Usually the punch line comes at the end of the joke. Ever listen to a long joke only to find out that the punch line wasn’t so funny after all? That’s no fun!

  Crazy Criss-Cross

  Unscramble each word and fit it into the numbered criss-cross grid. When you are done, read down the shaded column to find the answer to this joke:

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Can’t.

  Can’t who?

  Can’t elope!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Noah.

  Noah who?

  Noah place to go!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Salome.

  Salome who?

  Salome on a sandwich!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Warren.

  Warren who?

  Warren earth are you going?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Franz.

  Franz who?

  Franz, Romans, Countrymen!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Wanda.

  Wanda who?

  Wanda off and you could get lost!

  What am I?

  I collect acorns and bury them for cold weather. The problem is, I always forget where I’ve left them. Sometimes the acorns stay where I left them and grow into trees. I may be gray or black and I’ve got a bushy tail that makes me irresistible.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Detour.

  Detour who?

  De-tour will take us to Spain!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Sandy.

  Sandy who?

  Sandy letter to your friend!

  Fun fact

  Keeping Warm

  Ever wonder why certain flowers close up at night? They do this to stay warm. New seeds come from the inside of the flower. It’s important that these seeds are protected in spring when nighttime can still be a bit frosty.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ina.

  Ina who?

  Ina few minutes I’m going to tell you

  another joke!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Zaire.

  Zaire who?

  Zaire it goes!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Viper.

  Viper who?

  Viper your face, it’s dirty!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Munich.

  Munich who?

  Munich me happy!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Canoe.

  Canoe who?

  Canoe come over

  for dinner?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Grub.

  Grub who?

  Grub on and hold tight!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Bette.

  Bette who?

  Bette your money

  I’m right!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Philip.

  Philip who?

  Philip the tub,

  I need a bath!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Topic.

  Topic who?

  Topic a flower would be nice!

  Knock once

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Beth.

  Beth who?

  Beth you can’t

  find the one

  time the work

  KNOCK is spelled

  correctly!

  Beth you I can!

  Words to Know

  jest:

  Not being serious. Sometimes a jest is a playful remark or a prank. In the Middle Ages, a jester was someone who worked at the king’s court to entertain royalty.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Hedda.

  Hedda who?

  Hedda ‘nough, I’m leaving!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Nun.

  Nun who?

  Nun of your business!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tail.

  Tail who?

  Tail everybody!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Earl.

  Earl who?

  Earl you can ask for!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Macon.

  Macon who?

  Macon a sandwich!

  Try This

  A Tasty Experiment

  Cut up an apple into four parts and put the slices on a plate. Squeeze lemon juice over two of the four slices and let stand for three hours. When you come back, see what happened. The slices with lemon juice didn’t turn brown, but the others did. That’s because chemicals in the air turn the apple brown, but other chemicals in the lemon juice stop that from happening.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Accordion.

  Accordion who?

  Accordion to the

  weatherman

  it’s going to rain!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Egypt.

  Egypt who?

  Egypt you when he sold you a

  broken watch!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Nantucket.

  Nantucket who?

  Nantucket but she said she’d give

  it back!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Henrietta.

  Henrietta who?

  Henrietta bad apple!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Cecil.

  Cecil who?

  Cecil-ly jokes are fun!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  UC.

  UC who?

  UC what I see!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Pea.

  Pea who?

  Pea U, something smells!

  What am I?

  You may cut me, but I’ll grow back. I’m green when I get water and turn brown without it. People walk all over me and sometimes they play sports on me.

  What am I?

  What’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Rita.

  Rita who?

  Rita book!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Cohen.

  Cohen who?

  Cohen around the merry-go-round.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Van Gogh.

  Van Gogh who?

  Van Gogh and get me a cookie!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Venice.

  Venice who?

  Venice dinner going to be ready?

  Knock knock!


  Who’s there?

  Dots.

  Dots who?

  Dots not important!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ants.

  Ants who?

  Ants in your pants!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Reed.

  Reed who?

  Reed a newspaper!

  Fun fact

  It’s No Coincidence

  Ever notice that some eggs are brown and others are white? Believe it or not, there are many different types of chickens out there. Brown eggs come from red hens and white eggs usually come from White Leghorn chickens. But most amazing is that there are even chickens that lay blue eggs, the Auracana chickens!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Moe.

  Moe who?

  Moe cake, please!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Isabel.

  Isabel who?

  Isabel needed on the door?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Gopher.

  Gopher who?

  Gopher a long walk!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  CD.

  CD who?

  CD monkey in the cage!

  Try This

  In Motion

  Take a piece of thin cardboard (for example, the side of a cereal box). Decorate it with a nature scene like a garden and a blue sky, or a seascape. Then make a little bird or a boat out of paper, something light that can move easily. Attach a paper clip to the bottom of your movable object. Put your object on the cardboard scene. Then get a magnet. You can move the small object around the cardboard by moving the magnet underneath the cardboard.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Weasel.

  Weasel who?

  Weasel while you work!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Guitar.

  Guitar who?

  Guitar coats before we go outside!

  Who Is It?

  Collect the letters as you find your way through the maze from START to END. As you read them in order, they will spell the answer to this joke:

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Handsome.

  Handsome who?

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?