Jumbo Jokes and Riddles Book Read online

  Howl.

  Howl who?

  Howl I know if you’re on your way over?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tail.

  Tail who?

  Tail all your friends about it!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Adlai.

  Adlai who?

  Adlai my life on the line!

  What am I?

  I can grow up to 19 feet tall. Ioften weigh more than 1,600 pounds, and I can clean my ears with my 21-inch-long tongue. Even though I am so big and tall, I am a gentle creature and can be found roaming the African savanna.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Rabbit.

  Rabbit who?

  Rabbit up carefully, it’s a present!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  House.

  House who?

  House it going?

  Words to Know

  Pun:

  A word or joke that is a play on words and may have two or more meanings. All knock-knock jokes are puns.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Maine.

  Maine who?

  Maine thing here is that we’re

  all friends!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Thermos.

  Thermos who?

  Thermos be another way!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Wheel.

  Wheel who?

  Wheel stop coming over

  if we’re not invited!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Statue.

  Statue who?

  Statue or is

  that someone else?

  Chapter 2

  When Fun Comes a Knockin

  What am I?

  I am a tree or shrub that grows along the edge of streams and beaver ponds. My roots spread out and grow deep. They keep the soil from getting washed away by floods.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Freddie.

  Freddie who?

  Freddie cat, Freddie cat!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Eisenhower.

  Eisenhower who?

  Eisenhower late getting here!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ears.

  Ears who?

  Ears some more knock-knock jokes

  for you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Sheik.

  Sheik who?

  Sheik-speare was a famous poet!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Feline.

  Feline who?

  Feline fine, and you?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Tad.

  Tad who?

  Tad old black magic!

  Try This

  A Quick Trick

  Put an ice cube in a bowl of water. Lower a string on top of the ice cube. Sprinkle salt on top of the ice cube and the string. Then try to lift the ice cube with the string. The salt will melt just enough ice so the string will stick.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Lena.

  Lena who?

  Lena little closer, I have something to

  tell you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Pooch.

  Pooch who?

  Pooch your coat on!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Burma.

  Burma who?

  Burma hand on the stove!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ostrich.

  Ostrich who?

  Ostrich my arms up to the sky!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Hurley.

  Hurley who?

  Hurley to bed, Hurley to rise!

  So

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Beagle.

  Beagle who?

  Beagle with lox!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Weavish.

  Weavish who?

  Weavish you a very

  happy birthday!

  Mix and Match

  Write the number of the correct ending into the space by each knock knock. Choose from the list at the bottom of the page.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Megan.

  Megan who?

  Megan supper for you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Poker.

  Poker who?

  Poker and see if she gets upset!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Nicholas.

  Nicholas who?

  Nicholas equal to five cents!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Iran.

  Iran who?

  Iran as fast as I can!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Havana.

  Havana who?

  Havan-a nice time!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Justin.

  Justin who?

  Justin time for dinner!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Omelet.

  Omelet who?

  Om-e-let stronger than you think!

  Words to Know

  funny man:

  A funnyman is just that, a man who is funny. Sometimes a comedian will be introduced to his audience with this title. One famous funnyman is Robin Williams. Of course, there are funnywomen too!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Shirley.

  Shirley who?

  Shirley you don’t

  want to hear any

  more jokes!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Passover.

  Passover who?

  Passover that chapter,

  it’s boring!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Miri.

  Miri who?

  Miri me and we’ll spend

  he rest of our lives together!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Uganda.

  Uganda who?

  Uganda keep getting away with this!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Yachts.

  Yachts who?

  Yachts up with you?

  Fun fact

  A Smelly Situation!

  The power of smell is fascinating. This sense is very important to our survival. For example, it lets us know whether the food we’re about to eat is fresh or spoiled. In all, the human nose can identify more than 10,000 different smells.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Irma.

  Irma who?

  Irma great student!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Genoa.

  Genoa who?

  Genoa any new knock-knock jokes?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dent.

  Dent who?

  Dent be late!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Gorilla.

  Gorilla who?

  Gorilla my dreams!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ya.

  Ya who?

  When did you

  become a cowboy?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Berlin.
>
  Berlin who?

  Berlin’ the water for some tea!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ayn.

  Ayn who?

  Ayn on my way!

  What am I?

  I live underground in dry fields. I don’t like to be around people at all. I’m very small, but I sure am tough and will defend my territory.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Nixon.

  Nixon who?

  Nixon stones will break my bones!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Detail.

  Detail who?

  De-tail on de rabbit is fluffy!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Fodder.

  Fodder who?

  Fodder and I are going to the park!

  Try This

  Butterflies Welcome!

  Make a butterfly garden. There are more than 10,000 types of butterflies in the world. They all flock to certain kinds of plants. If you have those plants in your garden, you’ll surely see butterflies. Late spring or early summer is the best time to plant. Try milkweed for monarchs. Butterfly bush and butterfly weed also are great. See how many other butterfly plants you can find!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Fanta.

  Fanta who?

  Fanta Claus!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Uruguay.

  Uruguay who?

  You go Uruguay, and I’ll go mine!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Boo.

  Boo who?

  Don’t cry, it’s

  just a joke!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Affer.

  Affer who?

  Affer got!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Hurda.

  Hurda who?

  Hurda my finger in the door!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Costa.

  Costa who?

  Costa lot of money!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Fiddle.

  Fiddle who?

  ’Fiddle make you feel better, I’ll tell you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Kook.

  Kook who?

  You sound like a cuckoo!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Camilla.

  Camilla who?

  Camill-a little squirt!

  Please Fix That

  The letters in each column go in the squares directly below them, but not in the same order! Black squares are for punctuation, and the spaces between the words. When you have correctly filled in the grid, you will have a silly answer from Mr. Fix It!

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Poodle.

  Poodle who?

  What am I?

  I come in different shapes and sizes. My color doesn’t matter. I can be soft or hard. I am full of holes, yet I can hold water.

  What am I?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Dublin.

  Dublin who?

  Dublin the bus fare!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Asthma.

  Asthma who?

  Asthma anything you want!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Justice.

  Justice who?

  Just-ice time, but that’s it!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Usher.

  Usher who?

  Usher wish we could do something

  else!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ghana.

  Ghana who?

  Ghana dance all night!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Pear.

  Pear who?

  Pear of

  earrings!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Sue.

  Sue who?

  Sue prize!

  What’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Bonn.

  Bonn who?

  Bonn on the

  Fourth of July!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Saul.

  Saul who?

  ’Saul in the name of love!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Wilma.

  Wilma who?

  Wilma lunch be ready soon?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Eclipse.

  Eclipse who?

  Eclipse my toenails!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Parkway.

  Parkway who?

  Parkway over there!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Udder.

  Udder who?

  Udder madness!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Norway.

  Norway who?

  Norway am I leaving this house!

  Fun fact

  Don’t Bother Trying!

  Your elbow is a very important part of your body. It is the joint between the upper and lower arm. Your elbow allows your arm to bend. Without elbows, we would have a very hard time carrying out many basic tasks. But did you know that it is impossible to lick your own elbows? (I’ll bet you tried to anyway!)

  Hidden Helper

  The answer to this joke is hidden in the letter grid. Use these clues to help figure it out:

  • The answer starts in a corner.

  • You read the answer in a logical order, one word after the other.

  • You must add the punctuation.

  Knock, knock.

  Who’s there?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Alfie.

  Alfie who?

  Alfie horrible if you go!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Walt.

  Walt who?

  Walt you don’t know won’t hurt you!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Ewen.

  Ewen who?

  Ewen me could make great music!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Amusing.

  Amusing who?

  Am-using my new joke book!

  Fun fact

  Hip Hippos

  A hippopotamus can run faster than a man. These huge creatures can weigh up to 8,000 pounds. To keep their skin moist in hot climates, hippos secrete a pink oil that some have mistaken for blood.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Centaur.

  Centaur who?

  Cent-aur out for some more pizza!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Aldus.

  Aldus who?

  Aldus fuss for nothing!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Leslie.

  Leslie who?

  Leslie before anyone sees us!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Stella.

  Stella who?

  Stella nobody’s home!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Aloha.

  Aloha who?

  Aloha you the rope!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Shel.

  Shel who?

  Shel be coming ’round the mountain!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Wayne.

  Wayne who?

  Wayne keeps falling
on my head,

  so I bought an umbwella!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Jack.

  Jack who?

  Jack of all trades!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Locker.

  Locker who?

  Locker up for what she’s done!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Jubilee.

  Jubilee who?

  Jubilee in magic?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Quack.

  Quack who?

  Quack another bad joke and I’m leaving!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Farmer.

  Farmer who?

  Farmer birthday I’m getting a new bike!

  What ’s So Funny

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Gabe.

  Gabe who?

  Gabe it everything

  I got!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Diploma.

  Diploma who?

  Diploma came to fix the toilet!

  Chapter 3

  Tied Up in Knock-Knocks

  Fun fact

  Amazing Snails

  Snails are very interesting creatures, but most of the time we don’t even notice them. That’s because they are often underground, they move very slowly, and they don’t make much noise. But did you know that many snails can lift things that weigh 10 times more than their bodies do? They also can sleep for three years at a time.

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Zany.

  Zany who?

  Zany body home?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Figs.

  Figs who?

  Figs the chair, it broke!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Willy.

  Willy who?

  Willy call me before he comes over?

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Thumb.

  Thumb who?

  Thumb body is at the door!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Rover.

  Rover who?

  Rover hill, Rover dale!

  Knock knock!

  Who’s there?

  Felix.

  Felix who?